A Sequel to the New York Times' Modern Love

 

I am an avid reader of the newspaper. The real newspaper, not the online substitute. My roommate Susan and I even subscribed to the Tennessean when we were living in the dorm in 1975-76. The delivery guy set in on our windowsill.

I read with scissors and a pen. Monday through Saturday, I read through and then finish the Sudoku, crossword, and cryptogram. On Sundays now, I get the Tennessean  and the New York Times: More puzzles and more word games, the NYT Book Review. Sometimes it takes me most of the week to get to all the parts I like. 

I've been clipping favorite columns for years, which  explains the four-drawer file cabinets in the closet downstairs. Among those favorite columns is the piece by Amy Krouse Rosenthal printed in the "Modern Love" section of the Sunday Times in March 2017 entitled "You May Want to Marry My Husband. Written as a dating site ad, Amy published what was essentially a love letter to her husband as she experienced stage 4 cancer. The piece extended her wishes--even her permission--for Jason to go on living after her. She died just days after the piece was published.

Now Jason has written My Wife Said You May Want to Marry Me, his memoir that is every bit a love letter back to Amy, celebrating their courtship, marriage, and parenthood. He describes how the two intentionally made lists--part of their style--of their high expectations for living their lives together. They made plans for how to parent long before their three children were born.

Without crossing the line into maudlin and sentimental, Rosenthal gives readers the behind-the-scenes look at a good marriage and a good life, disrupted but not destroyed by cancer. Choosing to live with  purpose and a plan before cancer struck prepared them for the rough road they traveled together to the end of Amy's life. 

Before, Amy was the author and filmmaker in the family, but Jason has not only written the book but has made the TED circuit, sharing his story. One of the jewels of the book is a bibliography of books he recommends for other widowers. 

For the record, even with Amy's permission to move on, Jason still hasn't encountered the woman who answers to Amy's singles ad.

A Sequel to the New York Times' Modern Love

Book Club Beginnings

Recently at a dinner party with a particularly congenial group of friends, someone suggested we needed a book club. Even though some of us are already part of a book group that meets during the day, several of the women's work schedules don't allow for daytime meetings, so we decided to try an evening group too.

Tonight we have our inaugural meeting at the home of one of the women, so I'm thinking a lot about how to get started on the right foot.  I know some of the problems with keeping a group going--scheduling conflicts, book selections, too much focus on the refreshments, life in general. I also know how rewarding friendships can be when they revolve around reading for pleasure and mental stimulation.  I wish I'd cut out the article by a former book editor for the Charlotte Observer who said that while her husband read, he didn't want to discuss his reading with her. (He does not, she complained, "give good book.") I love book talk.  One of the greatest pleasure after reading a good book (or any book for that matter) is discussing it with someone else.

I've been going through my computer files for documents I've created for my NC book club (I miss you all!). One is a compilation of questions from the "By the Book" segment of the NYT book supplement, one of my favorite sections every Sunday. While answering them all would be daunting, they certainly delve into the reader's psyche:

What books are currently on your nightstand? Which books might we be surprised to find on your shelves?

And what’s the last truly great book you read?

What’s the best book you’ve read so far this year?

Whom do you consider the most overlooked or underappreciated writers?

What kinds of stories are you drawn to?  And steer clear of?

And what are your favorite books of all time? What’s the best love story you’ve ever read?

Who is your favorite novelist of all time? And your favorite novelist writing today?

If you had to name one book that made you who you are today, what would it be?

Is there a certain type of book you try to steer clear of as a reader? And a type of story you’re drawn to?

What are your literary guilty pleasures? Do you have a favorite genre?

What kind of reader were you as a child? Have you ever gotten in trouble for reading a book?

What was the last book to make you laugh? The last book that made you furious?

If you could require the president to read one book, what would it be?

If you could meet any author, dead or living, who would it be and why?

If you could be any character from literature, who would it be?

You’re hosting a literary dinner party. Which three writers are invited?

What’s one book you wish someone else would write?

Which books are you embarrassed not to have read yet?

Disappointing, overrated, just not good: What book did you feel you were supposed to like, and didn’t? Do you remember the last book you put down without finishing?

What book do you find yourself returning to again and again?

What do you plan to read next?

Book Club Beginnings