While I'm thinking of books and reading, I wasted to pose a question. One idea that kept surfacing in
The Storied Life of AJ Fikry was the importance in a relationship of sharing interests. In fact, some of the romances in the story are made or broken on that basis. Not only the title character, but others in the novel recognize a dead end when a date or potential partner can't satisfactorily answer, "What's your favorite book?" or even "What's the last book you read?"
The same discussion has come up in conversations with friends, colleagues, and even with my students. I used to advise my high school students that they should be readers so they wouldn't end up having to marry boring spouses. I suspect that for many of us, disdain or apathy about reading would be a deal-breaker in a relationship. Too picky? I think not! What do you think?
Quick Question: I'd Love Your Response.
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4 comments:
I have had dates and friends who weren't big readers, and it's fine, but I much prefer spending time with someone who reads something at least occasionally, even if we don't share the same taste, and even if we never really talk in depth about what we're reading. I don't expect everybody to be constantly reading something, but "Ugh, I hate reading" is almost surely a deal breaker. It seems like it usually means either "I'm not that smart" or "I don't care much about learning or improving myself" or "I hate sitting still and being quiet," any one of which is a no-go with me.
I married someone who is an even faster reader than I am. Many of my favorite reads I pass on to him and he's constantly sharing with me a newspaper or magazine article he found interesting. Opens up a whole new area of conversation. We also pass time on long trips listening to audio books. Can't imagine a relationship without this facet.
My husband and I always shared reading as an interest. We generally did not read the same type of book but sometimes we did. He loved reading newspapers and we enjoyed going put for coffee and bagels and spending several hours reading papers, sharing articles and comments with one another.
Stefan is also an avid reader. Sometimes we read the same books and other times we each read something the other has absolutely no interest in. Either way, we both read every night and sometimes on a nice Sunday we will go in our garden, sit at the table together, and just read.
I can't image being with anyone who doesn't enjoy reading. Reading and writing are so much a part of me that I would feel that a non-reader could never really fully understand and appreciate me.
But who knows? Maybe it could work. I hope I never have to find out though because just like I can't image a life without reading, I also can't image a life without my husband.
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